In a couple of months time there will be four teenagers in our house. Apparently this is an event that I should have been anticipating with fear since my youngest was born. I was frequently greeted with comments such as “ just you wait until they are all teenagers …” This would be followed by an ominous pause and a knowing smile. Well I’m nearly at that milestone moment and waiting for the earth and my family to collapse around me - the good news is that so far it hasn’t. In fact I love having teenagers in the house. In some ways nothing changes. I am still the parent and they are still my children but in other ways everything changes as boundaries are negotiated and renegotiated. Every age in parenting brings fresh challenges, ups and downs but that is true for the whole of life isn’t it? (I speak as someone for whom menopause is becoming a very relevant word).
Last week Sir Robert Winston aired the latest programme in ‘The Child of our Time’ series that is following the lives of children born at the beginning of the new millennium. They are turning 13 and the programme made it sound as they were about to morph into another creature entirely and parents were mourning the loss of their children. My soon to be 13 year old watched it in horror and said “he makes it sound like they going to die!”
Becoming a teenager is not about loss but it will inevitably be about change. My 12 year old is not keen on that idea at present and would love to continue in his childhood world of lego but he will change (although I suspect lego will be part of his adult life as well) but he won’t be gone - his adolescence will be further opportunity for him to grow into himself and for us to continue to love him and encourage him to love God. We will continue to have good times and harder times.
But today I want to say that I love having teenagers in my house – they give me insights and perspectives that I would never have had without them – they are fun and help stop me from turning into a grumpy old woman (or at least make me less of one!) I love Saturday pizza nights when they fill the house with their friends. I can find some of the music that fills the house challenging – I will never get ‘the Harlem Shake’ but I have to admit it was funny when during a group bible study on the Passover we could hear in the background the kids listening to ‘screaming goat’ videos – it was a very interesting sound effect.
So if you are a parent of under 11’s who is fed the line – just wait until they are teenagers do not worry – it can be fun. Also remember that God loves them even more than you do and in the hard times and difficult times He is always there.