Early in the New Year we saw an article trending on Facebook that led to a long family discussion in a restaurant over pizza. The kids persuaded me to write down our own unwritten contract over phone use in direct response to the infamous one by Janell Burley Hofmann.
So here it is, our alternative eighteen points in response to hers:
1. We will not buy you an iPhone – at 13,14,15,16, 17 or 18 but you can save up and buy it yourself if you want. This will probably mean you will need to get a part time job to purchase it and fund it. We will fund a basic phone and if you want to upgrade with your own funds feel free.
2. I don’t need to know your password, as I won’t be looking at your texts just as I wouldn’t read your diary or be eavesdropping on your conversations with your friends. You know you can talk to me about anything anyone says to you in person or text or on Facebook that you are concerned about.
3. If it rings, answer it - unless you are in the cinema, in church, in class, reading, playing, in the bath, at the meal table, enjoying a fun conversation etc. It’s a phone -people can leave messages – it is not a ball and chain.
4. Do not hand me your phone promptly at 7.30 pm – it will be going off all evening and besides I’ll probably want to text you about something at some point.
You can use your phone as an alarm in the morning which should mean I don’t have to come and wake you up at 6.30am –why doesn’t this happen?
5. It must go to school with you. Then we can keep in touch if necessary and you can have Temple Run competitions at lunchtime.
6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs – which is probably why an iPhone may not be the wisest investment. I am responsible for the replacement only in exceptional circumstances like it accidently ending up in the washing machine – sorry!
7-10. Remember conduct yourself on your phone as you would in every part of life –Philippians 1:27.
11. There is a time for silence but I really enjoy you sharing your technological world with me, funny YouTube clips and stuff on Facebook– if we hadn’t done that in a pizza restaurant we would never have read together Ms Janell Burley Hofmann’ phone contract in the first place!
12. Modern technology is morally neutral so avoid using it for the bad and the ugly. Use it for the good.
13. Please take a zillion pictures and videos. I love seeing your pictures and I’m rubbish at taking them myself. Only one caveat – don’t take a photo of us at a meal just as the food is served – it’s one of my foibles.
14. Please don’t leave your phone at home, or on the bus, or at Grandma’s etc. and make sure you have credit on it. I do want to be able to contact you and for you to be able to contact us - the world has changed, where is a phone box if you need one? But it can stay at the bottom of your bag if you want.
15. Download whatever music you enjoy – if I don’t like it listen to it through your earphones. But thank you for expanding my musical horizons although as you know they are still quite limited.
16. Play games on your phone but NEVER download any games apps onto mine – I might become addicted!
17. A phone is just a little bit of life but I have been amazed by the things it has opened up to me –getting a message from a friend in Afghanistan whilst walking the dog! Amazing! Use Google all the time to chase ideas and discover new information – the world is at your fingertips!
18. I won’t take away your phone- it is yours. Just make sure you don’t run up a huge phone bill because we won’t fund it!