I use Facebook. My children (apart from the one who is not yet 13) all have a Facebook account – so does our dog! But there is a lot of concern expressed by Christians about how we handle social media. After dealing with pupils on many occasions who were distraught by cyber bullying one Christian teacher I know decided that she should not use Facebook herself. She felt that it was important to model to her pupils that you can live without Facebook. Now when the kids ask her, “Miss do you have Facebook?” she can say no. My gut reaction to this was maybe she was throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Tim Chester has written a thought provoking little book, ‘Will you be my Facebook Friend?’ which examines some of these issues. He is especially concerned by the way we create false personas through the Internet, promoting ourselves, at times being cruel to others and the dangers of leading a disembodied life. But it struck me that it is not Facebook that is the problem but our sinful hearts – Facebook is just another possible vehicle in which we can sin.
There are many ways in which we create false ‘faces’. Last week Lance Armstrong confessed to drug taking; his sporting career had been a huge lie. His persona as the great American hero who overcame the odds and achieved outstanding success was false and tragically even his children had believed in it. People lie. It is a horrible reality. I remember when my oldest child first made that discovery. Her six-year-old best friend at school had told her she was flying to Italy for the half term holidays; I knew the family were going to Blackpool to see her grandparents. I will always remember my daughter’s disbelief and then pain as she realised her friend had lied to her. But this kind of lie telling is considered normal and not just between six-year-olds. Recently on ‘Women’s Hour’ a group of women were being interviewed about what they called ‘exaggeration’ – they basically invented stories to tell to their friends in order to make themselves more interesting. They too created a false persona but did it face to face. We are all prone to this sort of self-promotion in our edited storytelling. Cruelty to others has many forms too and writing hurtful things about others is not new. My grandmother who was born in 1900 was a ferocious letter writer and notoriously hurt people through hastily sent letters with the family having to pick up the pieces afterwards. No, we don’t need Facebook to lie and gossip and be cruel although it is a convenient tool to use.
And what about the charge of not living in the real world because our virtual one has taken over? In the beginning of the nineteenth century there was great concern in some quarters at the rise of the novel which was seen as unhelpful escapism for young women (some of Jane Austen’s novels allude to that debate). Today Facebook is accused of doing something similar and ironically parents often prefer their children to lead a disembodied life through reading novels rather than reading tweets. I think reading is brilliant - it takes you into an imaginary world which stimulates thoughts about our own world but sadly Hobbits, Harry Potter and Hogwarts do not exist. However the world of Facebook is not imaginary; writing your status is as real as sending a letter. Facebook is a way of engaging with others and so it matters how we do it.
I cannot help but come back to something I was taught when I was a student – because we live in a fallen world everything can be used for ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’. We need to be honest about our capacity for sinfulness in all of the places where we express ourselves, over coffee, over the garden fence or on Facebook. But Facebook is a real opportunity to relate to others and perhaps we should engage with it so we can to model godly behaviour to those around us. Can we use Facebook for good?
Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
1 Peter 2:11-12.